August 12, 2012 will mark 20 years of Desert Ministries serving the frail elderly living in nursing homes. It’s been a remarkable journey, filled with hard work, joy, laughter, and of course tears.  Hang around Desert Ministries long enough and you will come to know that tears are an integral part of this organization.  However, as one older woman pointed out to me many years ago: “These are not tears of sadness but tears of joy.” The early days were the sweetest of all as we approached, in naivety, a very complex issue.

The relationships I created and nurtured, (and later our volunteers created and nurtured), with the frail elderly produced within me and continues to this day, a profound and deep sense of self-fulfillment. “I was sick and you came to visit Me,” is a true statement. I experience this daily, as well as our volunteers.  Risking opening up to an older adult combined with the accompanying emotions and dialogue defy description. I am sure that our volunteers agree. You have to experience it to understand it.  It goes well beyond an intellectual ascent into spirituality as it is an intrinsic experiential communion with “another.”  Repeatedly, the elder’s words penetrate the  remote regions of my soul while simultaneously feeding my spirit with fresh manna, leaving me only desiring more of that spiritual food.

I won’t recount twenty years of Desert Ministries history here.  I’ll save that for a book. But today, I do recall those early days of stepping away from a comfortable career to pursue, at least at that time, the unknown. I remember traveling literally tens of thousands of miles every year, visiting and performing in hundreds of skilled nursing and assisted living facilities with little or no understanding of the dynamics of the long-term community. But as one administrator said to me on my first visit: “I don’t know what just happened here, but we need more of this.” Over time, I became a student of long-term care and with that came a deeper understanding of the challenges of caring for the frail elder.

Those days carried a great deal of uncertainty. My wife, Mary and I had no assurance of any income, (and frankly, we still don’t). At that time, I did not have a clear picture of where all this effort was headed, or if it would even last. Yet, I was compelled by that “…still small voice…”to face the challenges of fundraising, explaining to others what it was I was trying to do and why, (feeble as it was), and sadly, discovering the harsh reality that our society rejects the elderly and even more so, the frail elderly. I soon discovered that when you associate yourself with marginalized people, you, yourself, are marginalized.

While lifting the chalice, one Sunday morning, during Communion, I remember asking God if it was permissible for me to stand proxy for the thousands of frail elders who would want to be here with me this morning, and drink from this cup. Today when I drink “…from this cup…” I remember them.

Working in a nursing home has to be one of the worst jobs in America. Not because of the job, or the great personal satisfaction it brings. But once again these workers have identified themselves with the marginalized elder. They, too, feel that marginalization. I want to understand their experience. Gathering feedback from the staff is important to building effective and relevant programming. After all, who knows the long-term care community better than the front-line worker?

During my conversations with staff, I ask them how it is going, and how are our volunteers doing. During one particular conversation, breaking down in tears, a care worker said, “If if wasn’t for your volunteers coming to help me…, and having coffee with me afterwards, I don’t think I would be here. I would have quit.”  In that moment, I realized our volunteers not only had a supporting role to the nursing home resident but to the care staff as well.

After thousands of miles of travel, and discovering the magnitude of the problem, it became apparent that my role needed to shift from “go-er” to “sender.” It was a bittersweet transition. But since 1999, in an administrative role, I have been “wooing” people to volunteer in nursing homes. It has been a privilege, not taken lightly, to interview, screen and train hundreds of people to volunteer in nursing homes, while exposing thousands more to the world of the frail elder.  (And, I thought I would miss the first-hand experiences). “Go, and then come back and tell me what you have learned.” For me, hearing the life changing stories of our volunteers is now a highlight of my life.

I have to stop here; otherwise, the blog will become the book. Twenty years ago, I left my “secular” job.  Sitting in my living room, the next morning, I thought to myself, “If I call right now, I could get my job back.” God, I am so very glad I didn’t make that call.

Several years ago, as I entered a memory unit in a nursing home, a woman was there to greet me. As I was closing the door to the memory unit, I noticed that her eyes were riveted on me. With a burst of laughter she said, “Count your blessings!” The look of shock on my face must have been priceless. Then as I was trying to understand what just happened and formulate some sort of response, once again, and this time with a tone of admonishment she blurted out, “I mean it, count your blessings!” Like a reflex, I blurted back, “Ok! I will!” Spinning around and walking down the hallway ahead of me, she began to sing the old hymn, “Count Your Blessings” Laughing, I sang with her.

As we were singing our impromptu duet, I was watching her walk with a bounce in her step, seemingly unaware of her predicament, i.e., living in a facility with dementia. It occurred to me, “Yes, I do need to count my blessings, and this woman is helping me do that right now, right here, in this very unlikely place to count any blessings, or to be even thinking about blessings.

We live in challenging times. I know this is no news flash. We see the realities of budget cuts, loss of jobs, dissatisfaction with politics, systemic issues that seem unsolvable, and so on. Yet, for just a moment in time, this demented old woman, (and I say that with all due respect to her and to the millions who suffer with Alzheimer’s disease), was redirecting me to think about my family, my wife, my children, and now my grandchildren, my friends, my co-workers, and my health, along with realizing one day I could be the “greeter” for this memory unit.

Today, you may be facing any number of challenges, but is there anything that, today, on this day of giving thanks, for which you can be thankful? I’m sure that there is.

Let me invite you to this memory unit, where today you can meet someone who may not be able to remember her name, but she did remember to count her blessings, and furthermore she helped me to remember to do the same.

Happy Thanksgiving! And “Count your Blessings! No! I mean it. Count you blessings!”

Today my wife sent me an article entitled “For the Very Old, a Dose of ‘Slow Medicine” by Abigal Zuger, M.D.  (found at: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/health/views/26books.html)

The article reviews “My Mother, Your Mother: embracing slow medicine, the compassionate approach to caring for your aging loved ones,” by Dennis McCullough, M.D.  Dennis McCullough is a geriatrician at Dartmouth Medical School. I have not read the book so I will reserve my comments about the book for a later time.  I have “one-click” at Amazon.com so the book is on it’s way to me.

However, in Zuger’s review,  she quotes McCullough:

“The high-blood-pressure pills that are life-saving at 75 may cause problems at 95, and paid companionship or a roster of visitors may prove to be antidepressants at least as effective as any drug.

A loud “Amen” escaped from my lips when I read this.  For years now, I have observed on numerous occasions and have listened to many stories relayed by our volunteers as to the impact of the visits both on the nursing home resident and the volunteer, and finally I have my own experiences to share. Many times throughout the course of developing and pushing this outreach forward, I have battled with depression, and repeatedly those visits have pulled me up and out of the “blues.” Likewise, I remember several occasions when the frail elder I was visiting commented along the lines of , “It’s feels good to know someone is even thinking about us.”

Most memorable was the old woman who, sitting in a wheelchair, holding a paper cup with pills lying at the bottom of it, waiting to be swallowed, made eye contact with me, held up her cup for me to see and said, “This is what they think I need. What you just did for me is what I need.”

We need friendships more than pills. There is no substitute for relationship, for sharing smiles and tears,  for sharing conversation and silence, and for sharing gentle touch. Even the perception that “…someone cares about me,” is a powerful antidote to depression. Now of course, I am not advocating abandoning the use of antidepressants, and certainly there are times when they are appropriate and needed, however; how many nursing home residents, that is frail older adults living in nursing homes are given what “…they think we need…” as a poor substitute for what they really need.

Volunteers trained to be companions can fill this gap. For the past 20 years, I’ve learned, and now have developed a conduit to provide nursing homes with skilled companions who, not for money, but for reasons of compassion and love of the elderly become a source of dignity and hope.

So Dr. McCullough, I’ll be anxious to read your book, but in the meantime, a hearty “Amen” to deferring to companions over pills.

Walk with me...

At some point in our lives we are likely to face dependency. We can hide our heads in the sand and pretend that “…it will never happen to me.” But after 20 years of observations, I’m certain that the odds are not in your favor, and it may happen suddenly and sooner than you think.  Of course,  entrepreneurs intuitively recognize an opportunity. Initiating a word search for anti-aging products produces millions of opportunities for you to buy the latest and “…most effective…” means to delaying the aging process.

Ultimately the cosmetics, plastic surgery, and the myriads of creams and potions lose their efficacy and what emerges from behind all of the camouflage is a person who needs the helping hand of a younger person, a weaker person who needs the strength of a younger person.

Running away from reality; covering our eyes and ears pretending not to see or hear their predicament, we abandon older people to a frightening existence. “Who will help me feed me today? Who will help me walk? Who will help me bathe? Is there anyone here to help me?”

Funding for nursing homes is shrinking and will continue to shrink. This  will mean further staff reductions, and less care. As a result, I believe it is imperative to appeal to people of all faiths to  volunteer in nursing homes. Good people like you know the value of relationships. Volunteers, like you, can help to fill that gap, not for money, but to fulfill the promises in the sacred texts of your faith.

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”

(Deuteronomy 5:16 NRSV)

May is “Older Americans Month.”  Mother’s Day is the first day of “National Nursing Home Week.”  All across the United States there are thousands of nursing homes housing more than 1. 5 million people. Visit the nursing home near you sometime this month. Take flowers, candy, greetings cards, etc. To the staff say “thank you” for their hard work and to the people that live there tell them that you have not forgotten them.

Afterward, contact us and share what happened. I know from experience that when people show this kind of “honor” they come away with incredible and unexpected stories,  that usually begin with “You are not going to believe what happened!”

“What’s in a Name?”

As you can might guess, I am asked from time to time, “So what’s with the name ‘desert’?”  Well, I guess if we lived in the southwest it would be obvious, but here in Nebraska it doesn’t seem to be so obvious.  Yet over the years this word has taken on a variety of meanings for me and I would like to share a few of them with you.

To begin, back in 1992 when I was first considering this outreach, I was reading the newspaper and in particular the sports section. There was an article concerning Lyle Alzado, the NFL football player.  Lyle played for the Denver Broncos, the Cleveland Browns, and finally the Los Angeles Raiders. He was a great defensive lineman and he had brain cancer.

The newspaper reporter asked Lyle, “So what’s it like for you now?” Lyle responded this way, “I have a lot of great people around me, nurses, doctors, family, and friends, but there are moments when I realize that at some point they cannot go with me all the way. In those moments, I feel very alone, like in a desert.”

The word “desert” jumped off the page at me. And I found myself saying I would like to be the drink of water for people like Lyle facing the  end of their life. And so, with that little bit of information, I named this outreach Desert Ministries. But over the past 19 years that word “desert” has taken on other meanings for me as well.

Around the year 300 A.D. thousands of Christians moved into the desert. These people became known as the “desert fathers” most of whom, by the way, were women. It is suggested by some that when Christianity became mainstreamed, that is the official state religion, there were those who feared for the purity of the faith, and therefore decided to separate themselves into the desert to maintain the authenticity and the integrity of their faith. The “desert” then becomes a place to purify oneself; to purify one’s motives.

Finally, the theologian W. Paul Jones wrote an article entitled: “Aging and Desert Spirituality.” In this article, he suggests that we don’t really want the elderly around us because it reminds us of our own “finitude.” So as the elderly stand on the brink of this “third age” this “old age” this desert, we push them in, so that we can get on with the rest of our lives. But it is not enough that we got rid of them, we even try to hide the desert.

For the old man or old woman, the desert forces one to face our imposed “worthlessness,” “their loss of identity,” “who am I now?” “What do I do now?” We have taught a whole generation that it is the “Pepsi Generation” that has a life worth living. For many older adults, this loss of identity becomes the springboard for suicide. Until the economic downturn, persons over 65 held first place in our society for attempted and successful suicides. Women for attempted and men for successful.

W. Paul Jones goes on to talk about the “desert” as a place of rebirth, rediscovery, and a place where we learn how to live in “grace” as we lose our ability to “do.” For everything we collect to shield ourselves from the aging process, it still strips us until we leave this world as we came in, “naked.”

So what does all this mean to me? It means that the desert is a place of opportunity for us.  It is a place to check our motives and our faith. Rather than push our elders into it, we can enter the desert with them and  walk with them, and learn from their experiences.  We too, can reflect with them on “What does all this mean?” and “Who am I now?” Finally, we can with them, be reborn, truly reborn to a life of “grace.”  The name of our organization…desert Ministries.

This week we are distributing thousands of Valentines to nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Take a few moments and share your experiences.

Starting January 1, 2011, the first of 80 or so million members of the Boom generation began turning 65. It will take about 19 years for all of us to get there but most of us will get there. It is not a little disconcerting to think what kind of pressures we will put on the economy, especially the health care system and finally the long-term care facilities. I like being optimistic thinking that we will fare better than our parents because we are eating healthier, exercising, and staying engaged. However, incident rates for diabetes, hypertension, and other maladies continues to rise. So, while, I do not believe anyone knows for sure, our ending could be difficult.

By not caring for ourselves, physically, emotionally and spiritually, we increase the odds for an old age that is filled with pharmaceuticals, repeated hospitalizations, and likely a nursing home, if there is one available for you. There are alternatives such as home health care, but in the end most options are expensive. The good news is that we respond well when we improve our diet and exercise, at any age! Of course, it is foolhardy to jump in before a visit to your doctor for checkup, or to buy that $120 pair of running shoes and sign up for a marathon. In fact, a moderate routine of walking, swimming, biking, etc… can go a long way to improving your health and sense of well-being.

Someone, either my grandmother or mother would constantly repeat to me, “You are what you eat!” Growing up, I ignored the warnings because I could. I could get away with eating whatever I wanted. That is, until one day I looked in the mirror and saw, (with all due respect), the Pillsbury Dough-boy. Wincing, I realized that the warning was true, I had indeed become what I had eaten, which consisted mostly of fried and fatty foods.

That was five years ago. I joined a gym, signed up for a trainer, and six months later, the dough-boy was buff-boy. The improvements were great. Aside from an improvement in my appearance there was a marked improvement in my cognitive skills. My inclination was to think that what I was experiencing was a placebo effect. I felt like I was thinking clearer and faster. My stamina lasted all day leaving behind that afternoon slump, and even now as I write this article, I am quite alert. As it turns out, it was not my imagination, the improvements were real and lasting. It was the best money I ever spent. I remember remarking to my trainer, “Man, you’re expensive!” He quipped, “Yes, but I am still cheaper than a heart surgeon!”

Let me encourage you today, even if you think it is too late. Whether you are 46 or 65, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that today, and the beginning of the year is a good time to start, you can change your life significantly for the better. You can do just as I did, join a gym, hire a trainer, and go to work. You will not regret it. With a little luck you just might avoid the nursing home too.

I mentioned physical care, now for just one more moment, I will mention another important aspect of stacking the deck in your favor. Studies show that people who give fare better. They have a more positive outlook, a stronger sense of well-being, and they actually are healthier. Our emotional health can either enhance or degrade our physical health. Giving our time, our talent and yes, even our treasure improves our emotional health and thereby our physical health. So find somewhere to plug in and give.

Our volunteers almost unanimously report how giving their time to someone has changed them. One young man told me, “I hug my wife a little more, and I talk to my children a little differently.” As Boomers we chased all the “toys” and found out that their ability to bring us life satisfaction was limited. Now would be a good time of life to look for that community we sought in the 60′s and 70′s. “Come on baby now, smile on your brother, everybody get together try to love one another, right now.”

Ok, so maybe our thinking was a little naive back then, but we can still make a difference. We are moving into a time of life not to live in denial, but rather to live embracing our age, sharing what we know, and giving what we have accumulated both in life experiences, our time and our treasure. “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony…”

Lastly there is our spirituality. What are you doing for spiritual care? All of us are looking for meaning and purpose. What does this life mean? Why am I here, in this place and at this time? Am I connected to something larger than myself? Could it be this universe in which I live? I remember Carl Sagan, in that deep silky voice saying, “We are all made of stardust.” I see God rolling up his sleeves and digging his fingernails into the star-dirt, kneading and shaping it and finally breathing into the clay nostrils of his Adam. But all of that is not as efficacious for me as watching the face of my older friend light up with a wide grin when he sees me. My spirituality is in the present moment and consists of a relational network of connections to others. What do you do to nurture your spiritual-self?

“Last one in is a rotten egg!” For me, I will resign this time to being the last one in, not because I will deny or avoid the ending but because I will embrace it and in doing so I will embrace life, a life of loving and giving.

Our outreach to nursing homes continues to grow and I’d love to have you be a part of our team. Desert Ministries is a good place to plug in. You will be amazed at the impact it will have on your life and your outlook. Click here to apply. We will train you and prepare you for a rich and meaning-filled experience.

The last weeks have been anything but easy.

When asked how things are going in my life I always give the truth.

When you choose to live a life of resilience you choose to live a life filled with hardship, brokenness & grief.

I have found, there is just no other way for me to live.

Probably because I have seen resilience with my own eyes

The face of Resilience

There is no more resilient than Phyllis Brandt, my mother-in-law, who after fighting cancers of many types for many years left this world for a better one on none other than Breast Cancer Awareness Day of last year.

Until her last breath Phyllis was able to brilliantly marry grief with joy. It was something to behold. And with her final breath there was no fear.

Phyllis was the face of resilience.

Many days I enter long-term care facilities and I see “old folks” sitting around in their wheelchairs, alone.

I stop for a moment and speak to that “old” man or that “old” woman, putting my hand on his or her shoulder and I am surprised by a big ole’ grin and a voice full of cheer.

I am quite taken aback.

Alone.

Estranged.

What is there to live for?

A lot.

This is the beauty, the harshness and the task of life: to reconcile death and life, pain and comfort, to recognize that what is seemingly so contrary is not so contrary after all and that it was in the service of “the other” that we finally found ourselves and “The face of Resiliency.”

Watching a vision come to fruition is an exhilarating and deeply fulfilling experience.

August 12, 2010 marked the completion of 18 years of Desert Ministries’ outreach, 18 years of trial and errors, 18 years of tears and laughter, 18 years of programming and advocacy, 18 years of literally thousands of my own personal visits to nursing homes, and 18 years of remarkable life changing experiences.  On that day, the Desert Ministries’ staff stopped for a few moments to celebrate having lunch together but then it was back to work.

Eyes forward, Desert Ministries began its 19th year by adding yet another remarkable event to its history.  At 12:30 p.m. on August 20, 2010, I walked into the College of Public Affairs and Community Service (CPACS) building on the University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO) campus to take part in a press conference hosted by the UNO Gerontology Department.  Dr. Lyn M. Holley, assistant professor of gerontology, Marietta Sewell, graduate student, chapter president of Sigma Phi Omega, (the national academic honor and professional society in gerontology), were busy preparing the large community room for the arrival of their guests, school officials, and their community partner, i.e., Desert Ministries.

By 1:30 p.m., the room was full with older adults and staff from at least a half-dozen long-term care facilities, coaches and team members from the UNO Athletic Department, to include the head of the UNO Athletic Department, Trev Alberts, members of the media, and Desert Ministries’ staff.

Marietta opened the press conference and explained that the UNO athletic teams would be participating in “Athletes and Elders: a community of interest.” Each team will adopt a long-term care facility to visit throughout the semester, building relationships with the older adults living in that facility. Desert Ministries, with its long-standing rapport in the long-term care community, did the “matchmaking,” between teams and facilities, and provided training materials to the teams.  Watching and listening to Trev Alberts talk about the importance of intergenerational contact, seeing all of the teams and coaches lined up behind him, as he introduced them one-by-one, hearing the coaches and athletes enthusiatically talk about this important connection between the young and the old, for me, was more than music to my ears.

I had my few moments at the podium as well, and then the room literally burst into conversation, laughter, refreshments and a great synergy was created across the generations.

One of the great missions of Desert Ministries is to facilitate intergenerational programming.

In addition, to “Athletes and Elders,” we are working with Creighton University Athletic Department, Metropolitan Community College of Omaha, and soon we hope Iowa Western Community College. This is in addition to the GrandFriends programming we created for other existing groups such as Thanksgiving ! Church, Calvary Lutheran, Kingsway Church, St. Peter Claver Cristo Rey Catholic High School, and Christian Motorcycle Association (CMA), and even businesses as well. The possibilities and opportunities are limitless.

What happened to me, 18 years ago, is not unique to me. Because of my initial exposure to older adults living in long-term care facilities, many of my preconceived notions about aging were radically altered.

UNO athletes meeting the elders

Intergenerational contact is the best antidote for the very destructive ageism that runs rampant in the American society and many other western societies as well. Ageism results in the poor treatment, abuse, and even the death of millions of older adults each and every day.  Our utilitarian mindset, i.e., “you are only as valuable as what you can produce,” creates whole generations of disposable people. Businesses survive on the “new and improved” logo.  For the older adult in our society this means that unless you can figure out how to label yourself: “new and improved,” you will be rendered obsolete.

One day the “Boomers” will be obsolete, if we are not already.

Sadly, ageism is deeply embedded in our policies, programming, and even our faith. In fact, ageism is so deeply embedded in our systems and organizations that it operates freely at the subconscious level. We really have no idea the extent of the damage our words and actions inflict on older adults. For certain, as a society, we have successfully taught the current generation that they have no place or no role in our society, our businesses, our organizations and our churches. One manifestation of ageism is that our older adults, i.e., persons over the age of 65 hold first place in attempted and successful suicides. Older women hold first place for attempted suicides, and older men hold first place for successful suicides. Women tend to use poisons, while men tend to use guns. Ageism is deadly.

In the second week of class, I ask my gerontology students to write an action plan for identifying and changing negative attitudes and faulty perceptions they may harbor concerning aging and older adults. I think this would be an exercise well worth assigning to many organizations and churches.  Where are our blind-spots? Does our programming reflect an inclusive or an exclusive paradigm? Where do older adults fit into our programming and business plans? Is the programming perfunctory, or genuine?

However, I am optimistic. I believe that my generation, i.e., “Baby Boomers” will change the face of aging. I do not believe we are “going quietly into the night.” I, myself, have no plans to disengage, but rather just the opposite as I am now pursuing my doctorate in gerontology. I am just getting started! With proper diet, regular exercise, and faith, I have a fairly good chance of living well into my 80′s. That means the next 30 years for me will be filled with education, research, writing, and, of course, continued activism.

It is amazing what I have learned from the “widow,” and how she has helped to open my eyes in so many areas. The value of intergenerational contact cannot be overstated. The next 18 years of Desert Ministries will be even greater as more of these great collaborations like “Athletes and Elders” are activated.

With that, I invite you to join the Desert Ministries’ community and like me, I am fairly certain that at some point in the future you too will stop to marvel at the impact the “widow” has made on you.  Visit our website: www.desertministries.org/develop and get involved by either giving your time, or your treasure, as an investment in your future, and the future of generations to come.

Congratulations to UNO and to everyone participating in “Athletes and Elders: a community of interest.”

And as Dr. Holley would say: “Ever onward!”

Within the vast field of Psychology lies Community Psychology. Notable among Community Psychological Theorists are McMillan & Chavis who, in 1986, extended Seymour Sarason’s seminal work in “the psychological sense of community.”

In a discussion on “Sense of Community,” McMillan & Chavis define “Sense of Community” clearly and succinctly as:

“…a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members’ needs will be met through their commitment to be together.” *

McMillan & Chavis go further, establishing the components that feed such feelings of community. Four, in fact, McMillan & Chavis found: Membership, Influence, Integration & Fulfillment of Needs, and Shared Emotional Connection. These are the factors, that if in play together, create a sense of community.

In my last post I explained the five ingredients of a Desert Ministries Volunteer. These ingredients are Community, Compassion, Selflessness, Presence and Commitment. Desert Ministries’ volunteers are expected to understand and embody these attributes as they volunteer within the long-term care facility.

Community

Community remains important and multifaceted. If individuals are willing to take the time to be creative and patient every community can take on a look all its own.

Regardless of the community form, there is a difference between a sense of community and community structure. Communities can vary in form and functionality. Communities can be coffee houses or cities (0r other things), while the sense of community within those communities can differ due to various conditions.

The first and only aspect of sense of community that I will write on today is Membership and its five dimensions.

Membership

Boundaries

Boundaries give a sense of emotional structure and are often marked by things such as language, dress, ritual, etc. Boundaries within groups can be clear or unclear depending on the group to which one belongs. Depending upon how organizations use boundaries, boundaries can bring a group to life or can be its demise.

For instance, the boundaries of a group can be so rigid that very few individuals would be allowed entrance into the group. This could lead to racism, bigotry and/or elitism.

On the other hand, boundaries could also be positive for the organization. Boundaries, if utilized correctly, could provide a hedge of protection for the group and the organization. Written rules and regulations allow members to enjoy movement within the organization while also knowing what is expected both of staff and of volunteers. When expectations are clearly presented openly and honestly from the beginning, the boundaries are set and the members of the group will usually be more than obliged to serve accordingly.

Emotional Safety

The second aspect of membership is emotional safety, or a willingness to communicate to the group how one is feeling. Authenticity within the group is crucial to the the dynamic emotional growth of the group. Without group members feeling safe and willing, groups will become atrophied. Therefore, staff authenticity and staff storytelling must be extremely high if group emotional safety is going to flourish. Without an emotional “buy in” by the leader, volunteers will never decide to follow the leader and will never begin to “tell the difficult things about themselves” nor give themselves to the “real task at hand.”

Sense of Belonging and Identification

When individuals join a community there is an emotional expectation that they will be accepted by the community. Without this occurring, the individual will likely not remain part of the community for very long. Simply put, staff of volunteer organizations must foster a sense of belonging and identification with and for their volunteers. Without a sense of belonging and identification to the group, to the organization and to the place of volunteering, volunteers simply will not remain highly engaged volunteers. For maximum volunteer output, the staff of volunteer organizations should seek to rapport with each and every member of the volunteer team. Also, staff should make sure to follow-up with volunteers in group settings to create group connectivity. Furthermore, the staff should attempt to find a great volunteer fit for each volunteer so that a deep seeded sense of belonging and identification is continually established, even during volunteer activities. For maximum engagement to occur, there must be a transference of engagement from group belonging to the volunteering venue and back again (or the other way around). If all three of these factors are in place, the volunteer should remain thoroughly engaged within the group, within the organization and within his or her place of volunteering.

Personal Investment

The fourth dimension of membership is person investment. Community has a cost. Always. Clubs come with dues. Sometimes there are rites or initiations, but always there is a price in being a member of a community.

However, personal investment must be just the right price. Finding that perfect price is often a difficult task.

How much is too much to ask?

Maybe ask yourself: Are you finding people falling out of your community?

Maybe you are asking too much or maybe you are asking too little. Nevertheless, for a perfect sense of community to be established within a group, it must cost them something.

A Common Symbol System

The last attribute of membership is common symbol system. We see that groups and communities have them everywhere. There is not a single individual that is not a part of a group that does not somehow or somewhere use symbols to create a sense of meaning.

Sports teams use badges and wear like uniforms, Christians rally around the cross, anthems are sung and we stand silently. Small things can mean a lot and they can create in us a huge sense of meaning. Use them to your advantage with creating community membership.

Later…Aspect two: Influence.

*(McMillan, D.W., & Chavis, D.M. (1986). Sense of community: A definition and theory. American Journal of Community Psychology, 14(1), 6-23.)